We’re headed for a morning of shopping and hanging out when Gretchen brings up that she wants a new car. She went on to explain the type of car she wanted—a sporty black BMW with a stick shift and wheels. She wanted to feel the speed and hear the shifting of each gear as she cruised down the highway. She shared how she would feel having a car like this, that she had worked hard, saved and put off buying something that she wanted but now it was time to do something for herself. Listening to her talk I could hear the change in her voice and see it in her demeanor. She was excited, happy, in control and even sounded powerful—confident.
We just happened to be headed in the direction of a BMW dealership on our shopping expedition so we stopped in to look around.
As Gretchen was talking to the sales woman (Melissa) I noticed a beautiful brand new, white sporty coupe with camel leather interior and pointed it out. It wasn’t what Gretchen had described but it was new, shiny and gorgeous. Gretchen was also caught by it’s beauty, aborted the idea of the car she had initially wanted and asked to drive this one.
While on the test-drive route Melissa explained the futuristic features as the car quietly purred along with Gretchen stiffly driving. And I tried to talk Gretchen into buying this one–blinded by the beauty. She was trying to talk herself into it for the same reason, even though she noted it wasn’t what she had envisioned. She didn’t sound excited, she sounded nervous and hesitant. Melissa told her she could drive it for the night. As she was getting everything in order Gretchen and I checked out a car for me—who can go to a BMW dealership and not dream for themselves? What was parked beside that car? A sporty black coupe, stick shift with worn in camel leather and half the price of the new one. Gretchen asked to take this one for a spin.
She was nervous, but a different nervous this time—I think because she knew she had found what she was looking for. We drove the same test-drive route, the seats were comfy, no futuristic features to worry about. The windows were down, the radio was up & Gretchen was shifting gears. Her demeanor changed instantly & she became who she was in the morning while describing the car she wanted. We laughed, my head went back into the seat with each shift of the gears and Melissa said “It feels like we’re headed out for a night on the town.” This was the car.
Gretchen contemplated the beautiful brand new expensive car or the used black stick shift that had taken us to the dealership in the first place. There were pros and cons to each, but there really was only the one car. In the end she went with her heart and chose the car that brought out the confident, fun, powerful side of her. The one she has worked hard and saved for and wanted to gift to herself.
The reason I share this story is to ask where in your life, career or business do you allow yourself to consider or even actually abandon what you really want and dream of? To be influenced by others and get caught up by the shiny beauty of things even though you feel hesitant and uncomfortable?
Knowing your why behind what you want and how you’re going to feel once you have it, whether it’s a material or physical thing is key. It helps to remind you of what is truly important to you and allows you to sit in the driver’s seat with confidence and power—shifting gears with the radio jamming and smile on your face. Knowing you went with your heart and took care of you.
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Even though this was Max’s idea he gave me a scared look as he headed to the field. I watched (with a glass of wine to calm the nerves) from a distance. The first go-round he went so slow–it was rough, bouncing his legs almost up to the handle bars and almost bouncing him completely off the bike. He was ready to quit but my husband encouraged him to try it again, this time with more throttle. I held my breath and watched as Benji patiently coached and encouraged him to give it more gas, to stand up and lean in. Each time Max went a little faster. Within just a few tries he was gliding across the field. He rode up to me and was all grins. He shared that at first he was scared and didn’t want to do it but now it’s fun. That was it, just a few tries, going faster and leaning in took him to what he had feared and put off for six months or more.
